The Pros and Cons of Perfectionism

Mood: Pensive
Music: Gavin DeGraw

Tonight I had the opportunity to have one of those wonderful heart-to-hearts with a close friend that we often find ourselves too busy to enjoy. With all the interpersonal foibles and follies that we commit, sometimes it's nice to know that you were able to say the right thing at the right time and that it actually helped someone and encouraged them. This conversation made me think, and tonight's post is the result.

To so many, perfectionism is an evil word. It can inspire jealousy, disdain, and feelings of inadequacy in others. It has been maligned as an unhealthy affliction by most who are not perfectionists and even some that are. And it can be--if followed in the wrong spirit. Perfectionists can be self-deprecating individuals who push themselves to the point of exhaustion, anxiety, illness, and low self-esteem. They tend to beat themselves up when they don't reach their goals. This is a particularly bad situation because the honest perfectionist can admit that they rarely, if ever, reach those goals of perfection; in other words, the strict perfectionist is doomed to failure on an almost constant basis.

However, perfectionism has its perks. It pushes people to be their very best, to never give up, and to never be satisfied with mediocrity. The perfectionist looks for opportunities to improve in every situation and they are comfortable with introspection (even if at a somewhat irrational level). If we never aim for perfection, it is guaranteed that we will never obtain it. Moreover, we will probably only reach a level that pales in comparison. In other words, we often miss the greatness that we could achieve.

The dilemma is how to make perfectionism work in our favor without all the undesirable side-effects. Here is my philosophy: Aim for perfection, strive to reach it, all the while realizing that you might not make it. If you reach your goals, wonderful. If not, don't stress about it too much. Whatever the result, maintain an attitude of humility (how dare we act haughty towards others when we so often miss our own goals?!?). Learn to celebrate the small victories rather than lamenting that we fall short of perfection. Aiming for perfection constantly is more important than reaching it occasionally. Even Jesus himself commanded, "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matt. 5:48) So many people see that verse and think, "Yeah right! Like that's gonna happen." And they leave it there, completely missing the point! Jesus knew that it was impossible for a human to be perfect in their own power. He doesn't expect that. What He does expect is that we aim for perfection, allowing God to make up the difference. He is honored by our desires and our efforts; He has room to work in such a heart. All of this is easier said than done, I know. But that's the aim. To all my fellow perfectionists out there, know that you are loved, you are capable, you are worthy, and I believe in you! Remember, gold is refined in the fire. Furthermore, diamonds are refined by extreme heat and pressure. :)